Fall 2010 by Solomon II
Looking back over my recent long term relationships, I can honestly say that between serious girlfriends and the few stragglers who drifted in and out of my life in between, I have been continually lied to for at least three solid years. Big lies, little lies, devious lies, white lies, lies of affection, lies of jealousy, lies for no apparent reason, lies for damn good reasons, etc.
What I’ve learned from my romantic interests over the past few years is this: It’s not a lie if you don’t get caught. It’s not a lie if you fess up to the truth after you get caught. It’s not a lie if you didn’t mean for it to be a lie. It’s not a lie if you don’t want it to be a lie even if it clearly is – because it sort of isn’t(ish). Then there’s my personal favorite: It’s not a lie if it was told to keep a man from getting pissed off about an earlier lie that kind of sort of wasn’t really a lie in the first place because of a technicality in the way he asked the question.
Here’s a list of the top 10 lies I’m told most often by the most women. I’ve encountered these lies with nearly every girlfriend I’ve ever had. I could easily add 50 more to the list, but I’m keeping it to the 10 most common among all my past girlfriends.
Listen. I know you’ve been reading my blog for a while, and I appreciate it. I know I said there are only 10 lies, but you somehow found out I really listed 13. I’m sorry I lied to you and it’ll never happen again. But honestly, I either miscounted or forgot about the other 3 lies because they didn’t mean anything to me. If you can’t forgive me for this, you don’t love me and you’re not a real man.
So thanks to the power of chick math, here are 13 of the top 10 lies women tell me:
I have finally come to the point in my life where I simply cannot continue being upset by this shit. I’m too old, my job is too stressful, I travel too much, and I’m just downright tired of getting worked up every time some woman lies to me. I swear to Christ I’d rather have my girlfriend let some random guy fuck her in the ass and email me photos of it than for her to go to lunch with an attractive male coworker and lie about it later.
Trying to change a woman’s natural propensity for dealing in falsehoods or attempting to kill the rationalization hamster that enables her to do so with a straight face and a clear conscience is a fool’s quest. I’ve thought about ghosting, but I’m too fond of the pussy. I’ve thought about not having any more LTRs so that when some random bitch lies to me it wouldn’t matter, but every now and then I find myself wrapped up in some chick. The comfort and consistency is nice, but the lying makes me as mad as Hell fire.
Over the years I have slowly and painfully come to the sad conclusion that the only way to keep a woman from lying to you is to stop asking her questions. Give her the opportunity, and she’ll lie every single time.
My solution to this phenomenon will be outlined in Proverb 18: Stealth later this week.
Filed under Proverbs Tagged with dating, lies, lying women, relationships, women
As iron sharpeneth iron, so one man sharpeneth another. Proverbs 27:17
6 Responses to Proverb 17: Top 10 Lies Women Tell
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m.m says:
I can’t wait for your thoughts on the solution. First, I was sad…then mad…then sad again, then now just numb. There’s gotta be a better way
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paultheking says:
great post.
funny how accurate that list is
my favorite one is the “hes just a friend” ..
You need to stop meeting American women. I’m not saying there aren’t any good ones, but it’s like finding a needle in a haystack.
If you want to meet a great woman that doesn’t fuck around, lie to you, and treats you like the fucking Alpha male that you truly are…you need to go to a Latin country! Chile, Argentina, Venezuela.
Or find the slightly Americanized Latin women in the USA. I’m talking about old school, the ones that know how to cook for you. The ones that clean your house when you are away and are ready with the the BJ, Anal, ass-licking action when you arrive.
“Listen. I know you’ve been reading my blog for a while, and I appreciate it. I know I said there are only 10 lies, but you somehow found out I really listed 13. I’m sorry I lied to you and it’ll never happen again. But honestly, I either miscounted or forgot about the other 3 lies because they didn’t mean anything to me. If you can’t forgive me for this, you don’t love me and you’re not a real man.”
That is some grade A genius there.
I am 50, live in Asia, and haven’t been in the USA dating scene for 10 years.
In the mid 1990′s I could see the changes. They weren’t good, the women were becoming mercenary assholes, and I just didn’t want to re-tool yet again for another generation of whores.
Yet I still cannot help but notice that current social commentary on dating in America – and it’s a full on nightmare on its best day – has been reduced to people who simply don’t like each other lying to each other, putting up with them just to get laid.
Think about what type of child will arise out of a pregnancy when an entire nation of men and women no longer even like each other.
You think the USA is bad now? Wait until all the kids born of the current wave of hostile-but-I-must-have-it-sex are born and reach 16. By 2025 the USA will be a feral nightmare and men then will read archives of this blog and reminisce fondly about ‘the good ole days where girls were girls’.
I see nothing good coming from the children of a nation of people who don’t even like each other but fuck because they are compelled to.
Damg bruddah, time to get over the lies. Everyone lies. Time for you to start lying to women. Things become much better for everyone.
“If you want to meet a great woman that doesn’t fuck around, lie to you, and treats you like the fucking Alpha male that you truly are…you need to go to a Latin country! Chile, Argentina, Venezuela.”
… And struggle through the same bullshit but in a foreign language. Brilliant.